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Media Room - Results and Topics
Proven Results - The results of Bill’s work were tested in a recent survey.
In 2001, Bill Ferguson created a 4 hour workshop for Texas family law courts on how to take the conflict out of divorce. This program, Stop The Conflict, gives divorcing individuals an awareness that dramatically changes the way they handle their divorce.
A recent survey was taken to measure the effectiveness of this class. The results were surprising. After attending only one 4 hour program, participants were able to reduce their resentment by 68% and blaming by 60%. Taking responsibility for the conflict increased by an amazing 77%.
See a newspaper article on the program.
See a news video on the program. You can use any of the following topics or we can tailor one for your audience.
The problem areas of life are never the problem.
If you have a relationship or any other area of life that isn’t working, this area of life may seem to be the problem, but it isn’t. It’s the symptom of an underlying condition of resisting or hanging on.
This underlying condition creates a state of fear, upset and tunnel vision that destroys your ability to see clearly. It keeps you from finding solutions and it forces you to act in a way that actually magnifies the problem.
The moment this condition is removed, you restore your ability to see clearly and this area of life starts clearing up. Until you find and remove this condition, the problem will continue.
Relationships usually start out great, but sooner or later someone gets hurt. That person then gets defensive and becomes critical of the other. Then the other person gets upset and becomes more resentful in return.
Before long, the two people create a cycle of conflict: a cycle of resisting, attacking and withdrawing from each other. This cycle of conflict then destroys the experience of love and sabotages the relationship. This cycle is present in any relationship that isn't working.
Fortunately, a cycle of conflict cannot exist with only one person. It’s like a tennis volley. It takes two people to keep the cycle going. It only takes one person to end it.
At any moment, you are totally at the effect of whatever happens around you. At the same time, the world around you is totally at the effect of you. No matter what you do or don’t do, the world around you will respond to you. This makes you the cause of what happens.
You are totally at the effect and at the same time, you are the cause. You are both, but you only experience yourself as one or the other.
When you experience yourself as being at the effect, you feel powerless. Confidence, energy and effectiveness disappear. This is the state you are in whenever you are in the presence of an area of life that isn’t working.
When you are at cause, you are on top of your situation. You are confident, creative and able to take positive action. Solutions appear and the problem areas of life start clearing up. Living at cause is the key to having life work and it is only a thought away.
The divorce courts are full of people who love each other. To have a relationship be great, you need more than love, you need the experience of love.
You create the experience of love by accepting and appreciating someone just the way the person is. Notice how you feel when someone genuinely accepts and appreciates you.
You feel empowered. Your walls of protection come down and you automatically become more accepting of the other person. Then that person becomes more accepting of you.
You soon create a cycle of loving, supporting and empowering each other. It’s this cycle of love that has a relationship be great.
The first step in handling a difficult situation is to restore your peace of mind. When you are full of fear and upset, you lose your ability to see clearly. You also get tunnel vision. This destroys your ability to discover solutions and forces you to act in a way that actually makes your situation worse.
You restore both your peace of mind and your effectiveness by a process called letting go. As you let go, the fear, upset and tunnel vision disappear. Your restore your ability to see clearly and can see what needs to be done. Solutions and opportunity present themselves.
The ability to flow with life is the key to having your life be great.
To part as friends, put the focus on ending the conflict, healing the hurt and restoring the love, not as husband and wife, but as one human being to another.
Restoring the love one human being to another allows nature to take its course. If your relationship is a fit, you will come back together like magnets. If it’s not a fit, you will part as friends.
The process for accomplishing this is relatively simple, but you have to take the steps.
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